I've lived at home the last few years. After high school I moved away from home and only recently came back. I have a high salary, paid off all my debt, and have a solid nest egg. I've worked hard for where I am,
as many people do.
Boyfriend and I are a failed one night stand. It's often very hard to get through to him and he's really stubborn. He's never been totally independent from his parents outside of college -- he lived with an ex after college, but she lived with her parents. So, he's never rented an apartment on his own besides living in campus housing. That sort of thing.
Lately I'm not sure we are compatible. I work really hard at work and my part-time masters class. He and his dad run a small contractor business. Boyfriend is always saying how he wants to take it over and run it himself. Well his dad had to tend to some family stuff and Boyfriend didn't have any work for about two months. I'd ask him if he wanted to then applications in. No. We could put an ad up online so you'll get more business. No. He told me he only wants to work for people who have been referred to him. Meanwhile I'm floating all my money taking us out, among all the other stuff I have to do, and also entertain him almost every night. His jealousy can be intense.
The other day I was talking about renting an apartment in a really nice part of the small city we are close to. He outright refused to move there. Instead, he asked if I wanted to buy a house "so we can flip it and resell it" when I told him no, he told me my rent could be going towards a mortgage.
When I told him he could buy a house so HE can flip it, he told me he didn't have any money. Huh.
I do so much for him and he still wants more. I've been telling him I've felt stretched to my limit and have been asking for help. But he doesn't help and just points fingers. And I guess I KNOW we need to break up but at this point he's so familiar and when we are apart I miss the way he feels and smells. A few months ago I'd hear a certain love song and couldn't help but cry. I had so many feelings for him and now they are all just kind of, gone. Neither of us are putting what we need into the relationship.
I'm so ready to be out of my parents house. Right now he and I live about a ten minute drive away from each other. If I moved it would be 30-45 minutes. He has a few friends near us (I'm easy to get along with but I don't like them -- even he laments the fact they're friends), but I'm a homebody and my friends are all spread out.
Maybe I'm grasping for straws. I guess I try to work hard on things I care about. I know I'm still in love with him.
Does anyone have a similar story, and how it turned out? Good, bad? Is there some sort of wake up call I can give him to get him to understand how frustrated I am? We have the same style of humor and I have a few images of him burned into my memory. He's so supportive of my goals and is my cheerleader if I need it. Thinking of not being able to see his face light up is really tough on me. My mental health has kind of gone downhill.
